Pity Fred Dicker.
No, really. Witness this:
November 16, 2007 -- ALBANY - Gov. Spitzer said at a private fund-raiser that he wants a Democratic-controlled state Senate to legalize gay marriage - a highly divisive and controversial issue - as one of its first priorities in 2009, a witness to the remarks told The Post.
Spitzer, a gay-marriage proponent, pledged to help Democrats next November win the three Senate seats they need to gain the majority.
"One of the first things we're going to do when [Senate Minority Leader] Malcolm Smith is [majority] leader is gay marriage," the witness recounted Spitzer as telling some 60 people who paid up to $10,000 each to attend the event in Greenwich Village Wednesday night.
"Everybody applauded when he said that," said the witness, who was among senators, Democratic activists and lobbyists at a fund-raising event for the Senate Democratic Committee. It was held in the library of the elegant West 13th Street home of HBO's "Oz" creator Tom Fantana.
Okay, look, I was there. I missed the speech - actually ran into the governor as he was leaving and I was coming, shook hands, winced from the pain of Albany's greatest handshake, mingled, chit-chatted with a lot of people, gay and straight alike.
Nobody said a word about a new top-tier front-burner legislative push for gay marriage. This because, for starters, we call it "marriage equality", and then, because no such push was announced.
Dicker's piece is notable for its flawlessness in crafting together every single national republican meme: scary brown people, scary homos, Hollywood liberals, elegant mansions in Greenwich Village, all of them working together in perfect harmony to make fun of you, Joe and Jane Sixpack, by devaluing your marriage, your family, and so on and so forth. Scary liberals are trying to change your world, and all you can do about is vote for Joe Bruno.
Ladies and gentlemen, Fred Dicker, whom nobody in their right mind should refer to as a journalist, just gave you a preview of Bruno's last stand. If that's what you buy a newspaper for, congratulations, you got your money's worth.
Just don't call it news. And don't call Fred Dicker anything but Joe Bruno's court stenographer, because that's what he is.
