Dear Sarah Palin, George Bush and other End of Time Believers,

I am sorry to inform you that I will be preventing the second coming of you savior. It's nothing personal, but I just don't intend to move to Israel just to suit your religious beliefs. Let me explain below.

You see, End of Timers, I'm Jewish. Now, I don't actually keep Kosher (I love pulled pork way too much...and bacon cheese burgers are pretty damned good too) and I only occasionally attend synagogue. In fact I think I have visited more Buddhist temples in Japan than I have visited synagogues anywhere in the world. Though I did spend some time and effort a few years ago to help save a synagogue in Latvia, if that counts.  read more »